I google my own name, HAHAHAHA

God. I feel stupid.

Ehh,
you'd feel the same thing too if you stumbled across a blog you made when you barely reached puberty. I only wrote one entry back then and after the first blog, I end up having more blogs in between due to the fact I forgot most of my passwords to every of my blog, but it still is embarassing. To read your own childish entry after you've finally become a (almost) full grown woman.

Geez,
What was I thinking?

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Sunday, September 24, 2006
Life Current mood: Lifeless

Life, a constant reminder of why we are here,Sometimes its good and sometimes its bad,
When its good, greed takes its toll and we just constantly want more,
When its bad, all we wish for is just one bright star on a dark night.
To me, everything I have learned is based on how my life has come about,
From my first steps, till what I am today, and I am still learning,It has never always been easy, neither has it been hard.

Moderation is always what I have been experiencing, untill now.Why does life consist of burdens, of pain, responsibilities?Can one person do so much? Can one person handle the pain?A look up to god, console myself in isolation,Why? Why? What have I done to carry what I carry now?Its true I have friends that would help me,But I have learned to consume my burden's at my own cost,However, it's just getting a little heavy.

Life, why do some people take it for granted?Why does people that want it to be treasured can have it?Has Life have a pattern for the way it works?Nevertheless, I never doubt God's plan for myself.

To have my family in a middle of a crisis..
To have my sister doing stupid things to herself just because of one lousy BOY..Yup,you heard me right people..Just because of one lousy,worthless boy,my sister is wasting her whole life on this BOY which i hate the most and me,as the only sensible n sane person in the family,have to think bout all the problem by myself..WTF..I'm just 14 years old.. I cant handle everything on my own..

I have never asked for much, but just one wish,One wish to carry me on, move me along, make me stronger,And mostly, make my family a family.Even if my family is not happy,please make my family as what we used to be.For I cannot imagine for one moment, the plague that would come to have them gone.I have only words in which I can express myself,Words to show my true meaning of what I feel inside,Its heavy, its in pain, and mostly its worrying a lot.My heart, is now feeling the wraith.I am alone is this battle, alone in all my war's.

How? Why? When? What?Questions that we should all ask ourselves,Life is a valueble thing to waste,and yes people..i really mean it when i tell you that LIFE is VALUABLE. please I beg you, conserve it and don't waste it.You never know what will come the next day.My days are getting darker and darker,Hands feeling colder and colder, Heart slowly stopping to beat,I must carry on the battle, I must.No matter what, I will go down trying. Its my destiny.I am what I am, I must do what I must do.Therefore, I am here for a reason.Regardless, I shall try my best not to fail.I just ask of God to grant me one wish.
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You can stop laughing now.
*sigh